May I always choose you

May I always choose you
when my old lovers return.
May I remember your nectar
when I cannot taste it.
May I grovel but know
that your hands will come.
May I hold your light
even when I cannot see you.
May your soft tune continue
while I am courting the past.
May I enter the abyss
screaming your name.
May I remember to forget
myself when the fire begins.
May I fight to know you
even as the gates are closing.
May I rage and in that rage
find you.
May I drown in fear
and in that pool meet you.
May we never have to meet again.
May you vanish from you.